Saturday, August 12, 2023

dream dream

cinaesthetic afterglow
shine little
gloworm shine
window pain
glass jaw fractured
holding
pinned

broken
I see a man standing
stooped shouldered grin
infuriated acceptance

malignancy spreads
we share aquarium stares
goldfish eyes bulge
ping pong 
ping pong
ball plops
terror
waves cracking
skulls
thwack!
silent thuds
stillness breaks
tension surfaces
hold this. hold this.
outstretched limbs
paralytic twin
pressure plate
textonic quakes
shattered
heart
broken body 
departs
radiator remains
thwack
tender terror
back-end shuffle
resign
dark hearted 
bootstraps
click bang
tip tapping
silent crack
love being fracked
de-forestated
after-show
imprinted bloody hearts
acetylene flame
torxed
gasping goldfish stare
ping ping
ping pong
thwack


kaliope

clip clop
flip flop

cavities
excavated mourning
amputated useless limb
cellophane brain
catastrophic membrane
terror train
all aboard 
cattle car platform
blank bovine stare
calving 
standing fully gloved
cinaesthesia

amputated adhesive 
sticky residue
windowpane reflections
shatter visual injections
i can't keep my eyes closed
keep your eyes closed
i'll watx for us both
cinematic stare
shutoff turnon
blood stamped memories
acid etxed
sandblast attempts
erasure stamped deletion
failed
imprint branded
 let the carcass lie
still
be still
still
you're hurting yourself
let me breathe for us
hurts to breathe
boot-strapped ribcage
hogtied

calm
stay calm
calm
shhhhhhhhhhhhh
siren silence city lights
shhhhhhhhhhhh
vibrating convulsion
face broken
mandible fracture
lost for words

it must come 
it must come

s'weeping sounds
tenderest heart
breaker
tender mender
it kissed
maxine metaled mouth
crows caw 
mawcking 
exoing refrain
shamed

vibrating glyphs
hang 
like kisses
 boughing frozen limbs
elliptical light
translucent biohazard
blood smeared entrance
denied
you can't get there from here.
then please, sir, where can i get to 
that'll then take me here to the 
there i wanna go?
well, now..
we're getting somewhere
by a country mile
i'd say

it ended there
'til now
that we're here

hold on
hold onto
hold onto me


all.rights.reserved.terri.l.gillentine.2015



give the lady her xange


siren
high pitched drones
annihilate 
under constant attack
piercing
shrieking cries
amplified tone
waves goodbye
hear me
hear me
moving lips
waving flagship
stripped thigh
meat
 clinging
cinged irradiated meltdown 
core
reactor
amputated eye
tempest storm
i:storm
s'weeping sound
broomstick pole
dancers
tap to activate
swipe for content
s'end
candy caned & brined
show at 11
sucking sound replaces
broomstick
mexanized sucking
sounds 

the numbers add up..it's all there...bleeps. grunts. gestures.  sitting with memory  engaged involved forgetting.  re-member.....excavating consciousness...time traveling.. we will come, rejoicing. snippets implanted to give some context to the story unfolding in aisle b at the self check out lane..spill on aisle b...clean-up on aisle b.
scanners read the emotion emanating as magnetic waves pulsing advertisements cortically..seam..there's an opening in the veil..seamlessly..oh, good..mr. clean brings his magick eraser to aisle b...i waited...she waited...the rush with only a few items to the exit..go ahead...no, you go...really, all that was done with some hand gestures and grunts...shuffling sound surrounded by crinkled air pop crisps...i knew why she was hesitating..she had said in so many spoken words, "i don't have enough"...is it cold enough for you? shared story of how she got from there to here and how no one told her about the winter here...canvas shoes gave it away..slippery soles for this kind of weather..i place my few items on the conveyor before emptying the contents of her cart onto the belt...the packaging outweigh the product..oh, wait..you get what you pay for..slim&you...except in this case..you pay for what you think you'll become ..the branding iron strikes....sssstttttttttt....
it was like the cashier lady was the executioner..we shuffle forward. you only got a few things..yes. you only have a few other things..i wait.. the lady tells the cashier to put my things on her total... i refuse..lady insists..i refuse..my insistence to the cashier to not proceed with ladies offer ..   this your stuff? yes. wait. we wait. that'll be $$$.  i refuse..lady insists..i refuse.. i refuse as politely and humbly as to not offend..i say it's hard everywhere and if i needed it i'd more than graciously accept her kindness. she's already said she didn't have enough.
swipe. uhmmm...you don't have enough balance on this card to cover what ya got out here...the items in the ladies cart had already been separated into must-have and wants...swipe. $hame. the lady keeps looking. she knows she ain't got enough... i give the cashier a $20 to cover the balance ..cashier extends limp handed gesture holding change...give the lady her change..standing still with my few items...the lady asks for a hug...silent staring ....we embrace in a hug...exclaiming bet she didn't tell ya about the summers either..any of ya know me know the silence was a brief interlude...

kaliope

clip clop
flip flop

cavities
excavated mourning
amputated useless limb
cellophane brain
catastrophic membrane
terror train
all aboard 
cattle car platform
blank bovine stare
calving 
standing fully gloved
at aldi's

cinaesthetic afterglow
shine little
gloworm shine
window pain
glass jaw fractured
holding
pinned

broken
I see a man standing
stooped shouldered grin
infuriated acceptance

malignancy spreads
 sharing aquarium stares
goldfish eyes bulge
ping pong 
ping pong
ball plops
terror
waves cracking
skulls
thwack!
silent thuds
stillness breaks
tension surfaces
hold this. hold this.
outstretched limbs
paralytic twin
pressure plate
textonic quakes
shattered
heart
broken body 
departs
radiator remains
thwack
tender terror
back-end shuffle
resign
dark hearted 
bootstraps
click bang
tip tapping
silent crack
love being fracked
de-forestated
after-show
imprinted bloody hearts
acetylene flame
torxed
gasping goldfish stare
ping ping
ping pong
thwack


all.rights.reserved.terri.l.gillentine.2015

Unomi



snow fell 
metallic reflecting
replicated shining
nothing fell
nothing fell
downy soft
fuzzy texnology
nano bot particulate
snowglobe visible shell 
shell game
conglommerates
data mined outer core
program
serving time at the company store
blinding eye 
sore
blinks back
blinks back
snow blind
drifted catacomb mind


how's the crop this year?
still too early to tell
'membring 




Wednesday, January 6, 2010

you can go now

i've waited once before, you were already leaving. how can i still be wearing your tattoo? circles in circles that circle around again, dancing dervish knocking on our kitchen door, you can go now. circled around and circles and circles, stop spinning around in my dreams, over the bridge, over the hump. i need an island, somewhere to go, somewhere to bury you. i stand with my feet in the sand, sinking beneath the surface of the shore, your wave washes over me; like the outgoing tide, pieces of me are taken away with your waxing and waning current. the full moon of my heart is blue, blackened by your eclipse, my piece of mind is carried away by fiddler crabs.
fallen, fallen, fallen, let me gather up all the stars in your eyes in my arms, i would like to know where the angels have carried you. a sound is brewing in the air tonight, and the only answer whispered in the wind is, away. i can go, but i don't want to stay, i want to run away, falling away. you will never see me the same, once you know the truth, you will be the one to want to run away. i was able to put all my cards on the table, would you like to take a look at the sullen girl who has washed ashore? it is calm under the wake, in the blue of my oblivion. why does it hurt me to feel so much tenderness? i ought to put a hole in your head for making me live underneath your deep blue wake, calving glaciers crash from your frozen soul, you are so beautiful.
i walk into the rising sun with nothing more than the shame from the night before. you used to say everything is alright, what do you want to hear, she's in your bed. where do you think you would fit me in? where is my beautiful?
you decided to suck me into your nightmare, crying out, i have fallen below all the shit you have spoon fed me. what the fuck do ya know, i have come out more alive than dead. half buried heart unearthed by your bitterness, there has got to be a way to make it sweeter, like sugar in a tank of gasoline. you know i sleep alone, no darling to call my own. your darkness is no stranger, it blankets my soul, lonely is all i do. i am not afraid of happy endings, i'm just afraid my life won't work out that way. tomorrow never dies, but today always ends. stay awhile, stay as long as you can. sorrow is the bitter pill you choke me with, some things i didn't bury, i don't want to be alone with you.
copyright, 2010, terri l. gillentine, all rights reserved

fuck and run

my feet are frozen, as icicles cling to my steel beating heart banging out a calypso dream, my naked eye saw it all coming down. the fear clings to the back of my throat, nightmare warblings, unable to utter a sound, my one eye could see you emerging from the shadowy disconnection of daybreak. my teeth were chattering out an s.o.s., only no one was there to break the code, my jaw locked. i was so confused. you gazed into my eye, searching out curiosity, i found something in your eyes. we did not have the time to ponder, everyone has left, our worlds collide in an effervescent explosion, bubbling red skies. just another piece of your galaxy, from far away, erupts passion on my barren shore. my seeker, my code breaker, my dreamer, you have awakened me.
will you be there when i need you or will you fuck and run? whisper your sweet charity into my tone deaf ear drumming out the pounding of your heart beat. you mean everything to me, how does it feel, to mean so much, but nothing at all. we wanted to find love, you knew my middle name was exes, you got lost. you shoplifted my heart when i was a child, but now we'll float on these broken remnants. someone told me to go inside, go girl, run and hide, before someone blows your god damn brains out. i couldn't hear, so what, this is kind of about you, this is kind of about me. take your life as it comes, your broken bundled up remains.
i turn to walk away, right through you, i saw right through you. you didn't think i would show up on the other side of you, now that i am leaving, i missed you. i don't understand. one lover stays, okay, the other one stays, while the other-other one walks away, yhea, well, you're just so scared to lose. not scared to lose one at a time, but every other at once. i lost sight of you when we entered the city of your universe, blue azure scarred veins laced the streets, paved the roads. i don't want to wait to be trapped in your skin, bubbling blood pumped sewage drains to erupt into my locked jaws, so i jump the cavern where your heart once was. running now, i trip on my own eviscerated entrails, my jaw snaps, slamming into your hardened chest cavity. my wide eye searches the now vacant orifice for any sign of an egress. i spy a tunnel, and slither like a serpent, on my belly toward the light.
you know what they say about a light at the end of the tunnel, it usually means there is a train coming.
copyright, 2010, terri l. gillentine, all rights reserved