last night

it wasn't the last night i would spend here, it was just the first of many night's that would be spent here. where is here? here is a lost location in time, lost set's of car keys, lost romances, lost lives' lived on the run, lost memories all rounded up and kept, in this one location, an undisclosed location. i had been here many time's before, but i never knew when i was going or when i was coming from this particular locale. in an instant, there i would be, at this intersection, this crossroad, alone. i would stand staring as if the sun were but a foot from my face, etching white hot orbs into my retinas. unblinking silence enfolds me, wraps my flesh in an undulating rapidity of patterns, flashing, strobing, throbbing. these visions come and go so quickly, my brain has just enough time to record their entry, but not enough time to store the data streaming through my cortex. virtually untraceable are these nano snapped shots framed in liquid solitude, floating, hovering, whispering their imprints. i blink, another snapshot frozen in an imperceptible coagulation of synapses. how can this light burn through the darkness of night? illuminated black neon holes transform themselves, as they belch out what has been swallowed whole. fragments of pixelated terror's encircle my mind's eye, balled up into one terrifyingly slow, shallow breath. exhale madness.

long, slender, bony fingers begin clawing their way into the corner's of my eyelids, making tiny, ragged scratches across my corneas. these razor like talons tear through the crusty mucous now congealed where tears'  flowed so freely, dried blood stains my cheeks. my tongue searches past my lips to taste, to moisten, to lick my ravaged eyes. one eye located on one face, the other, the opposing face. two faces, each with their own view, looking, seeking, searching. flickers of images transpose information imprinted upon individual surfaces, one sees the darkness, one searches for the light, they meet in the middle with shades of gray. the darkness is what has been left in the past, only to be dredged up like liquified sludge, made up of so many places, memories loved and forgotten faces. turn to the light before the dawn must take flight, if i could go with it, i could make everything right, right all the wrong's and misgiving's brought on. i can't undo what has already been done, i can't unsing the language i sung. huh? oh my, the damage i've done, unforgiving receiver, what can i do to make you a believer?

copyright, 2009, terri l. gillentine, all rights reserved